Its apparent that many ladies will be asked to be a bridesmaid on numerous occasions before actually walking up the aisle as a bride themselves.
While this should be a good learning curve unfortunately many brides tend to make a lot of the same mistakes over and over with what they expect from their bridesmaids on the day itself. Remember; as your closest friends/sisters your bridesmaids should be able to enjoy the celebrations as well! and its important to reach your wedding day still being good friends and not having your closest friends inundated with tasks and stressed. Believe me they will spend as much time as possible avoiding you on the day and lets face it you will want to look back at your wedding day with your friends over the years and laugh about the good time you had!
So from experience here are a few tips to help you make the most of your wedding day memorable & fun with the ones you love!
DO: The hen party!
Lets face it!! the Hen Party will be one of the most fun times in the lead up to the wedding! Or it should be.
(I’m not getting into dress fittings here, that’s another story.)
Top Tip: Ask someone who is sensitive to everyone in the group who to take the lead in this event. There will always be one person who will want to make the grand gesture and plan something grandiose & extravagant. Just make sure to set boundaries for prices and expectations. (And do not ask your bridesmaids to come up with the funds or time to plan both. Pick one.)
DO: The morning of
From hair and makeup to placing the veil and fitting your dress, it’s not only fun to include your best friends and family in this part of your wedding day, but it’s kind of necessary. A little sparkling vino is usually on the cards for this part of the day and make it fun, ask a bridesmaid to put together a play list for the morning; which they will definitely have fun doing. Plus, having your besties around you before you walk down the aisle is definitely the best tonic for pre-wedding nerves.
TOP TIP: Discretely ask everyone in attendance on the morning of to refrain from taking photos & leave it to the professional.
DO: Bathroom duty & Emergency Kit
You will need help with this during the day & delegate this huge responsibility to one of your bridal party which y0u know in advance will be around and you wont have to go looking for in your time of need!
I’ve spoken at length before about this all important “Emergency bridal day kit” Your bathroom duty bridesmaid should be in charge of this kit all day (remembering to keep it as compact as possible)
It should include things such as hair clips, sewing kit, safety pins, foot plasters;
Read the entire article HERE
DONT: Delegate major decisions
All the wedding decisions should be made between you, your fiancée & your planner.
A lot of people will have a lot of opinions on what you should and should not have or do at your wedding, don’t get your bridesmaids involved, many people have opinions based on what they would want on their day (this can also go for parents as well). Remember this is your day and always listen patiently to advise from your bridesmaids etc. But ultimately go with your partner and your own ideas for your big day!
DONT: Ask them to start communicating with your family (Or Soon-To-Be Family)
So for example if your having issues with a family member (or another friend) in relation to wedding decisions asking a bridesmaid to play go between instead of getting in touch yourself is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. This is your family. So don’t put someone who has no business getting involved in the middle of family matters. It puts your friend and family in a really awkward place.
TOP TIP: If you have a planner they will have enough experience in how to deal with these issues!
DONT: Ask them to make a speech
This can put a lot of undue pressure on your girlfriends and is not really necessary. If you want them to be part of the speeches you could ask them to invite the person saying grace or welcoming the best man to give his speech! (which tradition dictates)
However in saying that if you really want your bestie to give a speech; go for it. It is your day!
DONT: Ask them to be your phone receiver for the day!
Lets face it after a certain hour your own phone should be turned off and maybe calls forwarded to another number (maybe not one of the bridesmaids but another sibling) Who ever is going to be calling you on the day of your wedding obviously has no idea you are getting married & that call does not deserved to be answered. No one wants to receive a phone call from a service provider on their wedding day!
TOP TIP: If you have a wedding planner forward all your calls to him/her; they will have a list of all the important people at the ceremony programmed into their phones before the day.
Possibly change your voice mail explaining that it is your wedding day and if it is anything urgent (life or death) give a phone number of a friend or sibling who will be present on the day; someone who you know wont have their phone far from their hand ever. Top Tip: LEAVE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR BRIDAL SUITE & don’t look at it until the next day! Everyone you love and care about will be around you all day anyway. (THE SAME GOES FOR GROOMS-GET A BEST MAN TO TAKE IT OFF THEM IF YOU HAVE TO)
Image: Martin Sheridan Photography from The Wedding Guy’s Bridal Brunch