Did You Know?
That in times gone by, sharing a drink was a way to show trust. The term ‘toast’ originated from the piece of bread placed in a cup of wine to absorb the sediment that settled at the bottom. The cup would be passed around and the “toast” became the prize of whoever reached it first.
What’s important to remember when planning your speeches is not to fret too much about the traditional ‘order’ of things; remember it’s your day and celebration so plan it to suit your personalities and the mood you want for the day.
Tradition dictates that there should be a certain running order and members of the wedding party will really want to share the joy they are feeling at your happiness and wish you well. The traditional model basically goes like this:
The father of the Bride, the groom & finally the best man.
Today it is not uncommon for either parents of the couple and the bride herself to say a few words and thank everyone for sharing in their joy.
What the speeches should include.
Thanking everyone for being there on the day.
The best man thanking & complimenting the bridesmaids & the parents.
Parents welcoming the bride and groom into the families.
Fondly remembering those who cannot be there in body but who are very much there in everyone’s thoughts.
A toast to the happy couple.
A flower presentation to the mothers of the bride & groom.
What the speeches should not include!
Public humiliation; sharing funny stories about the groom and his past is expected from the best man but it is important to know where to draw the line.
When to have the speeches?
Without doubt the biggest pressure on the day is on the best man. Over the last few years the trend has moved towards having the speeches either before the meal or at intervals during the meal. There are certain advantages to this model.
I have witnessed many members of the bridal party not really enjoying the meal in the run up to the dreaded speeches! This is a shame as the reception should be enjoyed by all and having the speeches before dinner results in everyone settling and really relaxing into the day. There are very few of us who relish the idea of public speaking and waiting for ‘your turn’ over dinner can result in loss of appetite and maybe a few too many glasses of wine!
One of the most relaxing ways of running the speeches I have witnessed and which I would completely recommend is to have one of the speeches immediately before dinner, one after the first course and the next after the main course. I recommend having the last while dessert is being eaten as this leads to a very relaxed and fun experience for the guests. Of course discuss and plan this with your planner or caterer so they can organise timings for the running order on the day.
The number one rule; keep it short, sweet, funny & appropriate.