So you have received at least one invitation to a wedding this year. As an invited guest here are the top three things you need to consider when that invite comes through your door or to your in-box!
Tens of thousands are expected to attend at least one wedding by the end of the year with many travelling at home and abroad to be a part of wedding festivities.
The rules of wedding-going have come a long way very quickly in the past few years. Good wediquette basically comes down to good manners. As the wedding season in now in full swing, here I will address your ‘wediquette’ questions:
The Invite and a timely RSVP
Put quite simply if you cannot attend then let the couple know as soon as possible. There is so much involved in the planning stages that a timely reply to a wedding invite is the best way you can help the couple. Do not just assume that they will know you are going to attend anyway; I see this happening a lot with close family and friends where people assume that the couple know they will be attending. Reply to the invite in whatever manner the couple have requested.
If you are a close friend or relative and for whatever reason you cannot attend a phone call before replying would probably be appreciated.
If you have accepted the invitation and your situation or plans change before the wedding day then let the couple know as soon as possible; this will give them the opportunity to let the caterer or venue know so they can adjust numbers and not end up paying for meals which will not be used. Weddings are costly affairs and every little saving helps.
The present and gifting cash
It should be quite apparent at the invite stage whether or not the couple have thought about wedding gifts! If they have and they favour the idea of gifts a gift list might be included in the invite. If not and there is no mention they it is usually left up to the guests to decide whether to give a cash gift with the wedding card or bring a gift.
Some people do not like the idea of giving cash as they find it too impersonal; in this case a gift is always really appreciated, just remember to include a gift receipt from the shop so if they already have something similar they can exchange it.
With wedding costs being quite high usually couples will have budgeted and saved towards their big day and cash gifts usually go towards their honeymoon. Whatever the situation a couple will have no objection to a cash gift and you should not feel embarrassed about giving a gift of cash.
If you have any allergies minor or of the more serious nature you should let the couple know as soon as possible; the invite will normally give you the chance to request this.
When planning menus with couples most caterers and venues will address the issue of serious food allergies such as omitting nuts and nut products from the menus for the day, however saying this if you have a nut allergy you need to let the couple know. I would also recommend contacting the venue yourself directly and speaking personally to the event or banqueting manager dealing with the wedding and let them know how serious the allergy is and discuss the details.
Other allergies such as gluten intolerance or sensitivity can be flagged on the invite response and also let your server know on the day when you sit for dinner, the same goes for those who are vegetarian or vegan.