You’re engaged and starting to think of planning your celebration, there’s so much to think about and so so many variables! Where to start, who to listen to, who not to listen to & which advice to take and which to politely decline!
From the second you get engaged, it will seem like everyone has advice to share about planning your wedding, everyone will have expert advice and they will start coming out of the woodwork with their ‘must have’ words of wisdom. Whether they’re currently engaged, happily married, have walked down the aisle, and also those who are totally single, everyone has something to say! And — fair warning — not all of that advice is very good or will be suitable to the day you want.
Every wedding is different and unique and lets face it no one wants their wedding to be like their friends who got married last year.
When I meet couples I always hear of the good and bad advice they have been given.
So here are just a few suggestions based on past experiences.
THE FAMILY & FRIENDS CONNECTION
Don’t let others force you into doing the things you done want!
From the get go it’s best to make it politely clear to close family & friends that well intended help with your plans are not always necessarily needed. As in a lot of cases certain people start dreaming of the day they envisage for themselves. Others will have a die hard traditional view of you ‘absolutely’ have to have on your wedding day, which is not the case. Its your day your way!
Be careful asking close friends who are not professionals in the industry to get too involved in planning & providing essential services. This happens many times as a way to save valuable resources but mostly its a false economy. You will want your friends to enjoy the day as well and have them enjoying your day with you & not running around under stress. Examples of this would be photography, ONLY hire professionals for essential services, you will regret it.
Avoid resentment if your friends or family don’t meet your expectations, and instead leave it to the professionals. Make sure delegated tasks are outlined in your contracts. And speaking of contracts, if you do end up hiring a pro who is also a friend, don’t skip this step! You should still outline expectations just as you would with any other vendor, even if they’re offering their services as a gift!
If you have friends who are professionals in the industry and are happy with their level of service or their reputation then lucky you if they are available and willing to do it.
Some people are very lucky to have professionals who actually work in the industry & are willing to provide their services as a GIFT by all means avail of this, for example I have co ordinated weddings where a family member had gifted their wedding cake and delicious it was too, but this was prepared and produced well before the wedding day and the chef in question was able to relax and enjoy the occasion.
A HELPING HAND
Do not listen to anyone who tells you that you do not need a coordinator, there are so many things that need to be addressed and looked after on the big day that you do not need to be sweating the small stuff, hire a Pro and let them do the running around for you, believe me you will not regret it. My advice gift yourself or your fiancée a one off wedding consultation voucher and realise just how beneficial it is having a helping hand, before & during the event.
Having a planner & coordinator gives you the perfect excuse to tell people who have great advice that you will pass this information on to your planner.
Not to be ignored! Don’t listen to people telling you “it will be fine, sure we’ll get through it” I always have a plan A & B or in Ireland as we usually call them a ‘Wet & Dry’ Plans. We have some beautiful venues when weather permitting are idyllic for exchanging vows outdoors (now we can!) but I always run with a wet & dry plan and am always ready to run with either up to the last minute. Sounds like hard work but when you know what you’re doing & have done it many times it is feasible.
No one wants to think of rain when planning their big day but the best advice is do not ignore it , so have a contingency plan and be prepared to go with it.
Again another reason to have someone in control on the day.