Congratulations, if you got popped the question or you are the one who asked!
This is such an exciting time in your life and you don’t want to be stressed, however the chances are you will be at some stage as things railroad and everyone and everything starts gathering momentum.
The engagement period really should be a time to celebrate this next step in your relationship, not a time to be consumed with planning and stress. You will inevitably ask yourself what now? What should I do or what’s expected of me?
So here’s a little list of Do’s & Dont’s after a little research with those who have been through it.
1. Contact close family first before you tell the world. Consider who you need to tell before broadcasting it over Social media in the excitement. Ask yourself who will be really annoyed to find out second hand.
2. Chances are you will already know who you want as your bridesmaids and best men. You may even have already talked about this with them, confirm these choices and set a date with them to talk through what you need to do together. These people will help make your life easier.
3. As a couple talk together about both your expectations for the celebration and include those things you definitely don’t want as well as the things you really do. Chances are you’ll both agree on most, after all you must have some things in common!
4. If planning a Catholic Church or civil ceremony you must read my previous article on planing a Catholic Church or civil ceremony. It really gives you a feel for what exactly is expected of you during this process and it will reduce the stress associated with this.
3. Pick a date or two; even three. Picking a date gives you direction in the beginning. You may have a venue in mind that you’ve always wanted to be married in but they may be booked on your date. If you’re flexible you may find more success in booking a venue. Your venue will help you determine your guest list. If your ideal venue can only hold 100 people but you have more that you want to invite, search on remembering you will need to view each venue. Put together a list of the top 3 that you like and start there and again contact someone like myself for venue suggestions. Premium quality venues are listed on my website and include some interesting venues, remember premium quality does not always necessarily imply expensive.
4. As a couple sit down and put together a budget. You won’t know exactly what things cost immediately but come up with a number that you are comfortable with spending. Be realistic and expect the unexpected.
5. The guests; make multiple lists..
Your first consists of your family and friends who you would put into your lifeboat if you were on a sinking ship. You have limited space on this lifeboat so make those people count. Some people have large families and this is where the politics may start.
Second, make a list of the people who you would let into your boat if there was extra room! These could be cousins who you might seldom see and secondary friends, who you would like at your wedding but if they aren’t there, it’s not the end of the world.
Remember if you have a large group of first cousins, you are not obliged nor will they all be expected to be invited. The rule is the eldest of each family if you’re close, if not there’s no need.
6. Designate a wedding-free time-zone or alternatively a portion of the week where you both sit down and go through the weeks developments. There really isn’t a need to talk about your wedding every day during your engagement. That’s why you hire a planner to handle all of the little details so that your relationship doesn’t become all about your wedding. Remember that you both still have to take care of your relationship.
7. Get help.
If you’re both working hard and busy with other commitments you should consider hiring the services of a wedding consultant & planner, read more HERE on the various options available which are structured to suit those on budgets and people with time restraints. Remember you can always organise a meeting at any stage of your planning process in your chosen venue with myself for a site visit and an expert eye on what might be feasible and what’s not.
The Wedding Guy specialises in site visits on a half day basis to go through your plans. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for availability & reasonable rates.