Planning For Your Marriage
As a bride-to-be getting married this year, I’ve been through it all and have come through unscathed so far! I’ve learned so much about wedding planning first hand, but even more about planning for the long lasting marriage to the man of my dreams! Below is a the absolute best bit of wedding planning advice you can get because it helps you refocus your priorities and plan for an amazing future!
My fiancé proposed a few days before Valentines this year and ever since that teary moment where I happily said yes I’ve been planning for my wedding day. Ok…I’ll confess, I was actually planning for it well before he asked me to marry him, but I wasn’t about to bust out my folder packed with photo snippets and crazy Pinterest inspired ideas in fear of scaring him away. So, despite my having planned the entirety of my wedding even before he even got a ring, the “official” wedding planning finally began after he asked me.
..I admit I was in heaven. Nothing could make me happier than spending hours looking up wedding ideas, researching different venues and carrying out all of my meticulously penned to-do lists to a T. Before I knew it I had scheduled us to spend thousands upon thousands of pounds on an extravagant wedding day for all our friends and family. Well, that’s until I got a major reality check and by the person you’d least expect!
Where The Wedding Planning Went Off Track
As I’m moving to be with my husband right after the wedding, we never had too much money to spend in the first place, but that didn’t matter to me. It’s the “big day”, the one where it’s acceptable to insist on gorgeous flower displays and designer dress because you just had to make it perfect right? Well I thought so too until not too long ago.
I went to an appointment to get my hair trimmed before the wedding and was excited to see my stylist. She asked me all about the wedding, my dress, and all the nitty gritty details I was oh so pleased to explain to her. Towards the end of my haircut she began telling me about her cousin who had gotten married last year at a venue similar to mine.
My stylist explained how her cousin had spent thirty thousand pounds on a very extravagant wedding with an open bar, exciting favours for the guests, and so much more. She said how it was an absolutely stunning party, but that now her cousin was on the brink of divorce.
Startled I asked why. It sounded like the perfect wedding, how could their relationship go wrong?
“Because they spent the entire time planning for the wedding day that they never planned for their marriage.” Confused by this I kept quiet as she continued trimming the last bit of my hair. “You see they wound themselves up in so much debt for just one day of celebrating, that now they’re forced to work extra shifts just to pay the minimum balance on their cards. It’s sad really – they never talk anymore.”
At the end of my hair appointment I was really quite disturbed. Admittedly I had singlehandedly planned for my future husband and I to pay for thousands upon thousands of things on charge – assuming it would be “easy” to make monthly payments on afterwards. But was it necessary? Would he and I wind up like my hairdresser’s cousin – in over our heads in debt, working all of the time, and never speaking?
Planning For A Beautiful Wedding and Long Lasting Marriage
After my reality check I made some massive changes in our wedding plans. Not only did my fiancé breathe an incredible sigh of relief as the total bill was more than halved, but him and I also had a heart-to-heart talk about our expectations for our marriage. All-in-all the entire experience helped me put my priorities straight and become a better partner to my future husband.
So for other soon to be brides planning your wedding I say this
• Realise that your wedding day is just ONE day in your entire marriage and that you set the precedence for your marriage by how that day is planned. If you’re putting yourself in debt and spending money you don’t have, then you’re setting a pattern of constant debt and overspending for the rest of your marriage that could ultimately lead to it failing.
• Stop trying to recreate someone else’s fairytale wedding and make your own day your fairytale! This was a huge issue for me because I desperately wanted to recreate something I had seen in a magazine. The desire to get every detail exact at any expense was not only costly, but was incredibly stressful!
• Plan a day for you and your husband, not for everyone else to have a free party! Nowadays parents aren’t the ones footing the bills for couples to get married anymore. Instead, it’s couples fronting the entire bills yet weddings are expected to maintain this glamorous and extravagant feel that simply cannot be done on a smaller budget. Instead of going for an all-out party at you and your future partner’s expense, have your guests help! This doesn’t mean ask for contributions, but instead don’t opt for the free bar, forego the ridiculous chocolate fountain that’s likely not going to be used, and don’t spend hundreds on accommodation and favours when your guests are capable of handling that themselves if they know in advance!
If you want to get some more wedding planning advice, then check out my blog www.theidomoment.com where I give wedding planning advice, post crafty tutorials, and even review some phenomenal vendors that I’ve encountered along the way!..
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